i watched you from the reflection of the glass. i smiled at your head scratched and your facial expressions that you thought you made in private. i saw you become more and more uncomfortable the longer you sat among all of the gazing eyes. i heard your thoughts as if they were my own, because earlier this week, they probably were. you trusted everyone in the cafe to not touch your things while you disappeared into the restroom – or at least you wanted everyone to think you were carefree with your materials. you moved slowly, as if to convince your self that you werent secretly freaking out underneath it all. you looked down when you walked, afraid of making eye contact with the people you lived with in your fantasy. you are looking for you, even though you have already found your self. you still think you need something or someone else to help finish up the search, even though this is all you have ever known. that could be better.